My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
