between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My bed smells like the plague
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