I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
