at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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