No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
