Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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