she was so not down for the gang bang
my phone needs a breathalizer
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize