Where are you?
In a non slutty way
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
