Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He better not be in your backpack
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
