How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
