he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
