i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
please don't ironically join a cult
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