I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
