we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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