I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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