I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
