she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
