You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize