I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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