Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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