I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
