from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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