he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh god it's open bar.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
