I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
