her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
