Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
