so explain again why im purple
no
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im just a social blackout drinker.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
