There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize