omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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