It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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