at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
