Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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