I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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