Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
even my farts smell like vagina
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
