Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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