how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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