3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
