New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
