booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We have started to decorate penises.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
