On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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