I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
