I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
