mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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