He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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