he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize