So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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