I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
where does the pee come out of this thing
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
