porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
