Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
