I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When did angry sex become our thing?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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