i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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