so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize