Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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