Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
