I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
