I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
