it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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