A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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