I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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