Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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