sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
