Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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