Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
be right there i have to get my cape
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
