I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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