remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's shark week go big or go home
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
