worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
