She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You work out of a Hotel?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
