I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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