We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
