I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
