I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
