and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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