Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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