I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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