Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
