im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
