Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
