We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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