there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
