Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
