So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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