I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
