You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize