the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
