yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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