I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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