She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
