Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
