he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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